[1/5/2023]
It's been a while since my last journal entry.
In all honesty I was considering canning the journal section completely, but after rereading my previous posts I've reconsidered. Often I'm paranoid about my actions and rather hard on myself, thus I assume the worst of myself (being possibly cringe). Lets just say I have some issues I'm working through LOL. Anywho I was pleasantly surprised when rereading my past entries just how valuable it is to have records of the past. The Mell from two years ago seems softer and more approachable despite being closer to a place that now haunts my thoughts and sours my mood. Mell from 2020 seems so chill. I wanna channel into that energy, but it feels difficult with my current 2023 knowledge and Sensibilities.
I'd like to work on the website more this year. Maybe challenge myself to work on a new page anytime I even think to use [insert social media here]. I have a lot of ideas written down and planned out, all I need is the focus and motivation to execute them.
Today I cleaned up my about me section for the new year, its less tacky now. Not that there was anything wrong with the previous version, but I felt the need for a straightforward update. Often I forget its okay to update a little at a time, as long as I'm getting something done.
[5/1/2021]
Hello hello hello. Haven’t been around on neocities in a good while, but I sure do have a lot of things I need to update. In general I haven’t been a fan of the major social media websites, and it's really been wearing me down. I keep forgetting that those places don’t represent the internet as a whole though, and that breaks are good for the soul.
I have so many dreams to post. This year has been good to me with dreams. April didn’t deliver me many, but we’ll see what May has to offer. I can say that I’m somewhat grateful for the dream break, as that also means I haven’t had any trauma dreams either. Gotta find the good in the bad ya know.
Anyway, I thought I had more to say but now that I’m typing it feels as if all my thoughts sort of just slipped away. Here’s to the next update, and whatever life has to offer tomorrow.
[1/15/2021]
Quick journal for today [posted at 12:40 am]
Just now I shared a bowl of buldak samyang noodles with Ian, we added peanut butter to cut the spice. Honestly they aren’t that spicy so I don’t know what I was afraid of. Maybe the peanut butter helped? Either way, they were very plesant and if they didn't have so much sodium I'd probably make them a pantry staple.
A few years ago when I was in my first apartment I picked up the cheese buldak noodles thinking they wouldn’t be too intense. After struggling through three bites I threw up and cried from the spiciness. I guess since I was 21 I’ve grown more of a spine.
[1/11/2021]
After many months, I'm finally back! This time with 100% less Boob, thank goodness. My surgery went well, and my recovery is going great. Still can't lift anything heavier than 15 pounds though. My thumb is still Messed Up, but considering that the holidays are over and there's finally a covid vaccine I'm feeling more confident about going to the doctor. I'm still not sure when the vaccine is rolling out in my state.
Goals for the new year include: drawing more analog art (also using the word “analog” instead of traditional), making more comics, drawing with more attention to detail, and maybe making a patreon or ko-fi. I now am Certain I want to make art my living. That’s saying something considering my thumb injury.
Anywho, I hope 2021 is kinder to us all than 2020 was. I’m really looking forward to being able to go to shows again, and maybe even going to the beach for a few days.
[9/18/2020]
It’s been a while, I know. Haven’t touched the website since my last update. Been struggling with my health, but I've started to perk up a bit now. Undecided as to what the future for this website will be yet, but I want to be more consistent with updating it. Not to mention learning HTML was giving me something to look forward to! Maybe now that the weather is changing into Fall I can relax and code while sipping on a nice cup of green tea.
Outside of health struggles, I’ve been struggling with where I really belong right now. As an artist and as a person. These days I don’t feel like the internet is the welcoming place it used to be. Not that the real world has room for me either, but at least I can hear someone else’s voice when I make myself known.
I finally have a date for my top surgery at least and I’ll be titless by the end of the year lol.
[7/8/2020]
Having some health issues. Feeling the most tired I’ve felt in a long time. Kinda like dragging the body while underwater, but I’m clearly not underwater. Body’s been failing but I have a lot of ideas in my head right now. Having a sense of betrayal. Wrist tendons are still being noncompliant.
Ian and I keep finding these giant freaking moths around the complex. Ian’s never seen them that big before, which surprises me. They’re all dying though. I feel bad for them and if I had a yard I’d give them a proper burial.
[7/1/2020]
Yesterday I didn’t work on the website, but with good reason. I’m currently going through an awful tendonitis in my right arm. It was a day of rest (and much needed)
Working today on making pages for my ocs, and then finishing my nav bar links. At the very least this website should have a fully functional nav bar with no surprises.
At around 12 am Ian approached me with the spontaneous offer of making egg tarts together. I haven’t shut up about wanting to make them for a few days so we bought the ingredients on our last shopping trip. They insisted we use pre-made croissant pastry instead of pre-made puff pastry so the crusts puffed up Huge and left little room for the egg mixture. We didn’t have enough pastry. We had too much egg mixture. Despite the minor setbacks they actually came out pretty good. Not as good as the real stuff, but it relieved my craving at least.
[6/29/2020]
My first entry on this website. Unfortunately it will be brief and maybe a little bit boring. In all honesty I created this entry to test how it will look on the page.
Today I had a strange dream. I’ll link it here as soon as that page has been completed.
I slept poorly because we let the cat sleep in the bedroom. It’s hard to resist his adorable face, and his meowing at the door is heartbreaking. Outside of the cat, I was also having some tummy issues which didn’t help with the sleeping issue. Thankfully all I needed was a warm bath...but it bothers me that I could have avoided the pain if I took that bath before I tried to go to bed. Lesson learned: don’t ignore what my body tells me.
Last bit and fun fact: I repurposed this page from another page I was working on (but ultimately decided wouldn't work). It's like being reborn without ever being born in the first place. :3